Uyenza njani into yokuba amadoda awile ngokungathi athandana nawe

FYI.

Eli bali lingaphezulu kweminyaka emi-5 ubudala.

Inkcubeko Siliqhawulile eli nqaku 'kwiGlamour' eliye lavelisa impikiswano eninzi ngenxa yomgangatho walo onqwenelekayo.
  • Inqaku elinempikiswano kwikholamu ephikisanayo ebizwa ngokuba ngu 'Smitten' ('Hurt @')

    Kukho uhlobo lomthetho ongabhalwanga phakathi kwababhali beendaba zedijithali ezihamba into enje: 'Sukungqubana nomlobi wakho ongummelwane, nokuba umxholo wawo ubukrwada kangakanani na, njengokuba ngenye imini omnye umbhali angenza okufanayo athi imibhalo yakho Shit kwaye ngekhe uyithande loo nto, andithi? ' Ndiyathetha: bobuphi ubuso endinobuganga bokuthetha kakubi ngabo xa ndibhala amawaka amane amagama amanqaku ngazo zonke iintlobo zabahlobo onabo? Ngaphandle kwento, ewe, kwaye ukuba ubhala nebhlog, kuyafana nakuwe.

    Ukuthethile oku: ukhe weva malunga eli nqaku nguGlamour ngeSpanish ngendlela yokwenza umntu wakho akuthande? Mhlawumbi kuya kufuneka ubone lento evela kuGlamour ngendlela yokwenza umntu wakho akuthande. Kukho nenxalenye ethi ukuba wabelana nge-Twitter naye, uya kuguqa phambi kwakho ngendandatho yokuzibandakanya. Ndithi: sonke sifuna umntu wethu asithande ... akunjalo? Siphelelwe lithemba kangakanani? Yintoni ayisiyiyo le siyiphilelayo sonke? Ukuba nothando lomntu omncinci? Kuphela oku kubonakala kuninzi. Ubonakala ethe natya kakhulu.



    Intengiso

    Eli nqaku livelise mpikiswano incinci ngomgangatho wayo onqwenelekayo. Abanye bade bawuthandabuza umgangatho 'wenqaku' labo kwaye bathi iingcebiso zabo zikwenza ucinge njalo kwakhona sikwamashumi amahlanu . Ngoku, masiyithathe inyathelo elinye ngexesha kwaye siyikrazule ukuzama ukuqonda into ekubonakala ngathi ibonakala kakhulu kakhulu:

    Izinto ezili-13 ezenza indoda iwe madly othandweni nawe

    1. Gcwalisa ifriji ngechelas zakho ozithandayo. Amanqaku ebhonasi: umkhumbuze ngeentsuku zakhe zekholeji kwaye umnike ingqele emnandi nje ukuba aphume kwishower.

    Hayi, kupholile, chela. Hmm… Ndizakuyithatha apha? Ndiyathetha, iinwele zam zimanzi… ziya kukha amanzi… Andikwazi ukuyifaka ipenti yam? '

    2. Lungisa izimuncumuncu emva kokwabelana ngesondo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ibe sisidlo esimnandi-isandwich okanye iicookies ezithile.

    Ngandlela thile le yeyona ilusizi kwaye ikhathaza kakhulu: ayikunyanzelekanga ukuba umnike eyona nto iphambili eyenza umhlaba ungcangcazele, kodwa kufuneka uphume ebhedini uvule umenzi wesandwich umenzele isandwich entle. Siphila kwikamva apho, ngokwe Ubuhle , ukuphosa intonga akwanele. Ayonelanga kuphela ukuba eze ebusweni bakho, oh hayi, ngoku kuya kufuneka ungcolise izandla zakho ukumenzela isandwich okanye ukufudumeza iikeyiki eziko kwaye uzinike le ndoda-inkwenkwe ingaqhelekanga kunye nobisi lwayo .

    3. Thumela i-imeyile ngentlebendwane yakutshanje kumboniso awuthandayo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ube umhlobo kwi-HBO. Thumela nje kuye amakhonkco e-Twitter kunye ne-voila. Intombi elungile!

    'Hee, mfo, kwaye namhlanje zingaphi ii-imeyile ezivela Imidlalo yeethrone beze kuwe na? '

    'Iimeyile ezisixhenxe zokugcwala Kufunyenwe nje Danyaza . Wayengazi ukuba ikhona Danyaza kude kube namhlanje kusasa kwaye ngoku undithumela iilinki ezintandathu ze Danyaza kunye ne-infographic ye Imidlalo yeethrone mncinci kakhulu kwaye akanakuqondwa '.

    Intengiso

    'Kwaye usaqhubeka nokwenza into yokugeza engaqhelekanga?'

    'Ewe. Ngo 8 bekufuneka ndisele ibhiya. Sibhozo ekuseni. Khange ndibeke neelensi zam zonxibelelwano wandiselisa ichela phambi kwakhe ndisemanzi netawuli. Kukufa. Ndiyafa'.

    4. Yibonise bonke abahlobo bakho, usapho, umntu ongamaziyo esitratweni: naye nabani na. Oku kuya kubangela ukuba isifuba sakho sidumbe kwaye intliziyo yakho ikhulise.

    Khawufane ucinge ukuba ukuxelela umntu ongamaziyo ukuba uthandana nendoda ethatha isiselo sokuhlamba kungakufaka entolongweni ukhuseleko lwakho.

    5. Ukuvula ucango ngonodoli wosana ... okanye kungcono, ze.

    'Kutheni undivulela umnyango nje? Ndinesitshixo. Kutheni ndinkqonkqoza kwam nje? Kutheni uhamba ze? Linda: ungene njani endlini yam? Kutheni… yintoni ebilayo ekhitshini? '

    6. Kulungele ukwenza nantoni na ofuna ukuyizama ngaphakathi nangaphandle kwebhedi. Ingqondo evulekileyo inomtsalane, nokuba yeyiphi umdlalo wakho.

    Ndicinga ukuba oku kuthetha ukuba 'fuck epakini' okanye 'ucinga ngokulala ngesondo', kodwa andinakuqiniseka kuba amagama abulala kancinci ingqondo yam. Andiqondi ukuba kutheni isithi 'umdlalo'. Kutheni le nto isithi 'umdlalo'?

    6. Myeke asombulule ingxaki yakho yomsebenzi omncinci. Amadoda amaninzi asenokungahlebi, kodwa ayathanda ukulungisa izinto.

    Oku kunokuba yinto entle, kuba amadoda athanda ukulungisa izinto, akunjalo? Ngezando zabo kunye neglu yabo; iintambo zakho kunye nezikere. Oko kwathethi, kumava am, amadoda nabasetyhini bajongana neengxaki ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Ingcebiso yam xa umhlobo endixelela ngengxaki yomsebenzi uhlala: 'Kulungile ke xelela uJosé ukuba ahlukane nomsebenzi wakhe! Cela ukunyuselwa imali! yonke le nto kufuneka bayenze ngesiketi. Ngexesha olichaze oku kuhlobo lomntu ochazwe kweli nqaku, usenokuba uyothuka kakhulu ngoku kwaye ufuna ukusela kwigumbi lokuhlambela kwaye ubukele umboniso awuthandayo.

    8. Ibhombard kuwe inezibalo ezivela kwiqela lakho olithandayo. Ukubonisa umdla kubadlali ababathandayo kuya kukufumanela amanqaku ongezelelweyo ngaphandle nangaphandle kwebala.

    IYA KUHAMBA NJANI:

    NguJames Rodríguez, akunjalo? Ubusazi ukuba kwisizini ephelileyo ufumene amanqaku ali-13 kwimidlalo engama-29? '
    'Ewe, kodwa sifuna umhlaseli ongcono wokukhuphisana naye.'
    '[ Cwaka ] '
    Ndiyathetha, u-Oribe Peralta ukhona, kodwa… Ewe, andazi, ise-Oribe Peralta, akunjalo? '
    '[ Cwaka ] '
    'Leyo yeyona fart nePeralta. Le kuphela '.
    '[ Cwaka KAKHULU KANYE NGOKUNGENAKUTHATHA UKUBA INTSHOLONGWANE IFA, IIMPUKANE ZIWELA PHANSI, Iikati ZIQALISA ] '
    'Kungcono ndithathe i-chela kwi-shower ukuze ubaleke kuyo yonke le nto.'

    Intengiso

    Xa umntu ongayithandiyo imidlalo ngequbuliso eyazi into ngayo iyamangalisa kwaye ayothusi, kufana nefeni efunde ngokukhawuleza ukukhwaza okanye isibane esifundile ukongeza nokukhupha. Ukuba uyazi malunga nemidlalo: phola. Ukuba awuyazi imidlalo, ipholile, akunyanzelekanga ukuba uzenze ngathi unolwazi ngezemidlalo. Zizemidlalo nje. Ndinabanye abahlobo endinokuthetha nabo kwezemidlalo.

    9. Yenza ukutya okuthandayo kube yinto enkulu. Ngaba uyayithanda i-mac kunye netshizi ngeesoseji? Bakhonze kwizinto zesilivere ukuze bamncumele.

    i. Uxolo, kodwa ukuba ukutya kwendoda okuthandayo 'yi-macaroni kunye netshizi kunye nesoseji,' nceda ke ujonge ukubona ukuba awuzange ngempazamo uthathe umntwana kwindawo yokugcina abantwana ngaphambi kokuba ukhuphe isilivere yakho eluphahleni uyihlambe kabini ukuze ususe uthuli .

    ii. Ndifunga ukuba andizukufuna ukutya imac kunye netshizi yam kwipleyiti yesilivere. Amacwecwe esilivere makhulu kwaye enziwe ngesilivere. Mikhulu kakhulu emilenzeni yam xa ndibukele iTV. Uxinzelelo oluziswa yipleyiti yesilivere kubonakala ngathi ligqithile kuzo zonke iinjongo ezilungileyo ezisemva kwesitya sesilivere.

    10. Baphathe njengabahlobo babo. Ukuba uphumelela uthando lwakhe, uya kuyiphumelela intliziyo yakhe.

    'Thetha nabanye abantu ngokungathi nabo bangabantu', HAHA, Kulungile, kwenziwe, OKULANDELAYO ...

    11. Hlala ecaleni kwakhe ngelixa utyani phambi kweTV. Isenokungabi nexesha elimnandi, kodwa yena.

    'Zola uze uthi cwaka xa indoda ibukele ezemidlalo' ...

    12. Mnike umyalezo (isiphelo esimnandi sinokuzikhethela). Ngapha koko, i-massage yonyawo isebenza ngokunjalo.

    Eyona nto ibalulekileyo, ingcebiso apha ithi 'yitsale phezulu', ethi: Ngokuqinisekileyo, wonke umntu uyathanda ukutsalwa, ngakumbi xa iyinxalenye yolothusa olunzulu nolungalindelekanga. Nangona kunjalo, le yinxalenye yoluhlu olupheleleyo endenza ndizive ndidandatheke kakhulu kwaye ndingenanto, njengale mizuzwana yoyikekayo emva kokutsalwa. Inani le-12 kuluhlu linciphisa abantu basetyhini ukuya 'kwijaladoras' kunye namadoda ukuba 'bamkele' kwaye akukho namnye kubo oya kuze adibane. Oku kuthetha ukuba indlela yokungena entliziyweni yendoda ingumququ owomeleleyo noqinileyo, kuba-njengeenkomo ezinemibele ephuphumayo-amadoda asoloko efuna imququ nabafazi-eneemvakalelo zakhe ezibuthathaka kunye neentliziyo ezincinci-konke abakudingayo luthando, kwaye eyona ndlela yokunyanzelisa le mvakalelo ingathandabuzekiyo kukususa nje phantsi kwesitayile sokumnika umyalezo. Yiyo yonke le nto siyiyo. Abaniki be-Orgasm, abafumana i-orgasm. Isini sisakhiwo; kukho kuphela abo banikezela ngesandla kunye nabamkeli bezandla. Olona thando kuphela amadoda anokulufumana kukuba nombulelo ongenanto wokuba uphulula amalungu esini. Ubuhle : Undenze nje ukuba ndayithiya imisebenzi yezandla.

    13. Mbuyisele kwibanga lesithathu ngokumqhula kancinci malunga nokuba ungambetha njani kwibhasikithi ngendlela engaqhelekanga yokulungisa iinwele zakhe.

    Uthetha kakubi ngeenwele zam kwaye ndibiza indlu yam ukuba ibe ngu-Uber, nokuba sele kukude kangakanani.

    §

    Inyaniso esisiseko yayo yonke le nto icacile ukuba akunakuphinda kuyiphindaphinde, kodwa masithi kunjalo: inqaku liyathuka kubo bonke abantu abasemhlabeni. Iyabanciphisa abantu kwizinja eziziziyatha abathi ngandlela thile bakwazi ukuqonda indlela yokubeka ikepusi yabo, kodwa okona kubaluleke kakhulu, kunciphisa abafazi kwizidalwa ezinqwenela ukuhlala ngonaphakade ecaleni kwezilwanyana ezilula, ezinesithunzi. Inyaniso eyintloko: akukho mntu ulula kangaka eMhlabeni.

    Uthando alufanelanga ukuba lunje. Kwaye ewe ewe masiqiniseke ubuncinci ukuba uyayifumana into oyinikayo. Ndithi: lo mfo ukwenzela amaqebengwana ngelixa umenzela isandwiches? Ukuba kunjalo, ke nina nobabini niyakuba nesidlo sasemva kwesini kunye- iqela eligqibeleleyo, elonwabileyo, nelokwabelana ngesondo- kwaye uya kulayisha phezulu kwiikhabhohbhothi njengoko utyalela phambi kweTV. Ukuba akukhange kubenjalo ke yena ulele phaya, ukhefuzela, echibini leencindi zakhe, ngelixa umphathele ukutya kunye nomnwe. Ngaba awunayo into engcono yokwenza, Ubuhle ? Ngaba awunabo ubomi bokuphila, ukuthanda ukujonga, abahlobo oza kujongana nabo? Awunanto ibhetele ungayenza kunokufunda iinyani zemidlalo emnyama kunye nokuthambisa incanca yam kunye neenyawo? Yintoni ongenayo izinto zokuzonwabisa?

    @iqosweb