Abantu basixelele ngohambo lwabo lwamakhowa oluhambo olubi

Imithombo yeasethi, shutterstock | Ubugcisa nguNoel Ransome. Iziyobisi 'Ndandisemva kokufa kwaye ngaphezu koko ndandisesihogweni.' EToronto, CA
  • Ndacinga ukuba ndiseSihogweni

    BesiseVang Vieng kwiminyaka embalwa eyadlulayo, eyidolophu yaseLaos apho oobhaka besiya kwenza iziyobisi. Kwakukho le ndawo yokutyela apho ungena khona uthi ibinzana eliyimfihlo elifana nalo, 'Ndifuna ukwenza iziyobisi,' baya kukuzisela imenyu engekho mthethweni, eguqula izinto. Babenecocaine, i-hashish kunye neengxowa zeheroin. Sithathe isigqibo sokwenza i-mushroom pizza, ebibonakala ingenabungozi xa ithelekiswa naleyo ibisenziwa. Indlela yam yayikukutya isilayi esinye kwaye ndifumanise ukuba ayenzi nto kwaye iqhubeke isitya izilayi kude kunyibilike inyani.

    Ndandiyitye kakhulu ipitsa yamakhowa xa saqonda ukuba oku kuqhubeka, kwaye bendifana, 'Siphume phandle.' Siphume saya ngaphandle kwendawo yokutyela. Ndiqale ukuphulukana nokunxibelelana nenyani ngokukhawuleza okukhulu; Ndandiqinisekile ukuba ndibuyela ekhaya kwisitalato eVancouver. Andikwazi ukuqonda ukuba kutheni kukho isiqingatha sendoda yenkukhu ngaphandle, ekhoyo kwaye ibonakala ngathi ayicwangcisi kakuhle kwindawo ethengisa ii-hallucinogens. Sabuyela kwindlwana yakhe esasiyiqeshile, ndaza ndachitha iiyure ezintandathu ezilandelayo ndikhwaza, ndingayeki ngokungxolayo. Ndivalelwe kulomzi ungathandekiyo wengqondo apho ndandicinga ukuba ndifile. Andiqiniseki ukuba ndingumntu ofileyo olele kwindawo evulekileyo ehlathini kwaye ezi krikethi bendiziva zingqonge umzimba wam. Ndandinobomi basemva kobomi, kwaye ngaphezulu koko, ndandisesisihogweni kwaye isihogo sasisisiphelo saphakade apho wena & apos unyanzelekile ukuba ukholelwe wena & apos; siphila nje ukuze udlule esihogweni sokukuqonda kwakhona ukuba ufile kwakhona.

    Ndandineminyaka eyi-21 xa ndenza i-shrooms okokuqala kunye nabahlobo bam beekholeji kunye nesoka lam ngelo xesha. Sasizihlobo zethu & apos; indlu entsha edolophini. Bebesandula ukufuduka kwaye befana, 'Masenze ii-shrooms kunye nepati.' Kwakufana nangoLwesibini. Siyenzile, bekumnandi, sonke besinexesha elimangalisayo emini xa sisiya epakini. Ndandiyithanda kakhulu. Kwakulungile njengoko kunokwenzeka. Ngasihlandlo sithile, isithandwa sam sasithanda ukuba, 'Heyi, ungayibamba ifowuni yam, masibeke umculo.' Ndiye ndahamba ndayokuthatha umnxeba wakhe, kwaye bendiziva ndingaqhelekanga kuba besisilwa kancinci ngeloxesha, kwaye ngaphambili, wayenze izinto njengokuphahlaza umnxeba wam. Ndiye ndaya kwifowuni yakhe ngokukhawuleza okukhulu kakhulu kwaye kwangoko ndabona imiyalezo kwamanye amantombazana amathathu, omnye wabo wayethandana naye phambi kwam. Wayendiqhubela ekhaya kwaye ebathumela imiyalezo, 'Heyi, ingaba uvukile? Wenzani?'

    Ndiyifumene yonke le miyalezo, kwaye bendithanda, 'Yintoni le?' Ndenza ngathi ndiyazi ukuba kukho into eqhubekayo, kodwa bendikwinqanaba lokuphakama kwam. Ndandiba nemibono. Ndamjongana naye, kwaye bendithanda, 'Heyi, ndoda. Wenzani? Yintoni ngoku? Ndibone nje le miyalezo. ' Kwaye wayephakame kakhulu, kwaye wayefana, 'Ewe, ke ngoku?' Ndandifana, 'bendicinga ukuba siyathandana' okanye into esisidenge-besithandana iminyaka emibini enesiqingatha. Ndaya eyadini ndaya kulila, kwaye abamelwane babengabathengisi kwaye babemenyiwe kwitheko. Ndiye ndangena kwenye indlu ndahamba nje ndahamba nabo, ndabona ikhefu, ndahamba iiyure ezimbini ukuya ekhaya, ndisephezulu. Emva koko yandibetha, kwaye ndachitha imini yonke ndilila. Sathetha emva koko, sohlukana. Undityhola kwaye wayefana, 'Yimpazamo yakho. Ubukude. ' Kwaye ngoku uhlala kunye nentombazana enye ukusukela ngoko, kwaye ndaxhuma nomnye wabahlobo bakhe abalungileyo emva kwangoko. Kuba ibilohambo olubi kangaka, bendihlala ndinamaxesha athile wezinto ezithile. Kwafuneka ndiye kunyango. Kwakuyiphupha elibi njengonyaka emva koko.

    Ndandikumthendeleko womculo eDetroit ngo-2011, kwaye ndandingazange ndiye eDetroit ngaphambili, ngenxa yoko andizange ndibenendawo elungileyo yokuhlangana apho okanye nantoni na. Ke siye sahamba nabahlobo bam bakudala ukuba i-ex yam kufuneka ifumane amakhowa-ayekwifom yeepilisi, uhlobo olufana ne-MDMA kodwa njengezingxobo ezinkulu, ke andazi ukuba yimalini ekwipilisi. Emini, ndandilahla enye, kwaye nabahlobo bam benza enye nganye. Ndicinga ukuba le ndandinayo yayinamandla ngokwenene, ndandisenza necoke ngaloo mini. Kwakungeyiyo okokuqala ukuba ndenze ama-mushroom. I & apos; d ndibenzele iqela lamaxesha ngaphambi koko kwaye ndinamava amnandi. Ndijonge uClaude VonStroke, kwaye ndiqala nje ukukhupha i-super fucking hard. Ndijonge abahlobo bam kwaye bendithanda, 'Ngaba uyakhubeka ngoku kunzima? Kuqhubekani? Ngaba ngala makhowa? ' Ndaya kwinqanaba elahlukileyo kunabo ndicinga.

    Njengokuba kwakusemva kobusuku, ndicinga ukuba sasibukele uJeff Mills, indlu entle endala ye-DJ, kwaye ndaziva ngathi ndikwelinye ilizwe. Ndiphelelwe sisakhono sokuthetha. Abahlobo bam bebendishukumisa, besithi, 'Thetha nathi. Ingaba ulungile?' Ndiyabeva, kodwa bekukho ezinje ngezithunzi ezazindilandela apho ndandingena kwaye ndinyanisile. Kwakungathi ishiti lalihamba phezu kobuso bam kwaye libuyele ezantsi kwakhona. Ndandinokufa oku-ndandingacingi ukuba ukhona umahluko phakathi kobomi nokufa. Oko kwakusoyikisa ngokwenene. Ndikhumbula nje ndihamba umnyhadala ndingena kweli gumbi lingaphantsi komhlaba ndicinga, Ayinamsebenzi ukuba ndiza kufa ngoku. Ndingavuya ukuba ndingafa . Andizange ndidandatheke ngelo xesha ebomini bam. Ndonwabile. Ndaqala ukukhala ngaxa lithile. Abahlobo bam ekugqibeleni bagqiba ekubeni bandikhuphe kumthendeleko, kodwa ngaphambi kokuba sihambe, iqabane lam ngelo xesha lalisazi ukuba ndiyayifuna le T-shirt. Ndixakeke kakhulu, nangona kunjalo, kwaye wayengazi ukuba yeyiphi endiyifunayo. Undithatha andise estendini kwaye wayefana, 'Ngaba yile uyifunayo?' Ndanqwala ndathi ewe, kodwa yayingeyiyo nale bendiyifuna kwaphela. Ndichithe iidola ezingama-30 kwisikipa ebendingasifuni, kwaye ngosuku olulandelayo, andinawo nemali eyoneleyo yokufumana isikipa endisifunayo. Ndisayinxiba ngamanye amaxesha.

    Iprojekthi yobuGcisa obunzulu

    Ndenza amakhowa kakhulu kwi-undergrad, kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha bendinehambo ezoyikisayo; Ndacinga ukuba ndilahlekile kakhulu kwaye ihlabathi liza kuphela. Ekuphela kwexesha endandicinga ukuba izinto zihamba kakuhle, mna nomhlobo wam sachitha iiyure ezimbini sizoba izinto ekhephini ngeebhutsi zethu. Ndacinga ukuba senza ubugcisa obunzulu, kodwa ke ndaqala ukwehla ndaza ndaqonda ukuba konke esikutsalile ligama le-POO, kwaye ndaziva ndineentloni. Kwakunzima, kananjalo, ngokungathi kusithathe ixesha elide. Sizobe oonobumba abakhulu kakhulu kwikota.

    —Emma, ​​28, umbhali

    Ukuxubusha

    Into ngokubanzi ene-hallucinogens awukwazi ukuyicima. Konke okudingayo yingcinga enye embi yokuhamba ungene apho, kwaye ke sisithambisi esibi. Kunzima xa wena & apos; ungumJuda kwaye uhlaselwa rhoqo luloyiko, ixhala, ixhala kunye nokufa. Ndineengcinga ezoyikisayo, ezoyikisayo amaxesha asisigidi ngemini, kwaye awunakukucima oko xa uphefumla kumakhowa.

    Sasenza amakhowa ngokufanelekileyo ngelo xesha. Sagqiba kwelokuba sizakubenzela ubusuku bomlilo. Bendinophahla olugulayo, kwaye siye sagqiba kwelokuba sizothatha amakhowa kwaye sibukele ukutshona kwelanga. Ndenze uninzi olunokulingana kwisandwich yam, mhlawumbi zizandla ezibini. Kulungile, ilanga liyatshona, thina kunye nabahlobo abalungileyo sabelana ngokuhleka. Umhlobo wam uJohn * wayenayo le thermos ye-whisky kunye nelemonade awayesela ngalo lonke ixesha, kwaye sabukela okhethekileyo kaDave Chappelle ukuba thina sonke sasibukele kaliwaka. Ndiye ndashushu. Ndingene egumbini lam ndikhulule zonke iimpahla zam, ndilaqaze, kwaye iindonga ziyanyibilika nje njengomthwebeba wekhandlela. Ndithathe isigqibo sokuba iindonga ziyanyibilika kuba bendingenguye unyana olungileyo kumama. Bendi rhabaxa kuye ngokukhohlisa utata. Ndiye ndaqala ke ukumthumelela umyalezo othi 'Mama ndiyakuthanda.' Ndithumele umyalezo kuye izihlandlo ezingama-30 — kungekho mpendulo. Andithandi, 'Kulungile, loo nto ilungile, ndiyikhuphile ngaphandle kwenkqubo yam.'